went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize
