Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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