Where did you get a picture of my penis
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
