haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
