Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
