if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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