Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
