Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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