I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
