Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
