At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
