bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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