So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
we're making bets on your personal life
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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