I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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