I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
