just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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