Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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