What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
