Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
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