We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
