guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
