just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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