the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
