omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
