Are we in a gay sports bar?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
