I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
