are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
