Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
