Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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