thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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