Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
