a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just gargled with NyQuil
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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