I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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