Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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