There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
