I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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