My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
