I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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