Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Randomize
