If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
