no, he came in my armpit
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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