Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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