ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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