Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
