she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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