so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
