just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
