so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
