i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
