In the future we'll all be gay
never play flip cup with pint glasses
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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