Your face is a jimmy john
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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