This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
